I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
