OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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