My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
