But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
