i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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