So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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