Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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