it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I color on your dick again?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize