i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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