just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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