once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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