Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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