loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize