A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
