well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
