If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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