Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
