i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
