just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
