he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
