Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
