i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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