You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
