Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
