You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
