best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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