I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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