turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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