So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
