woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
