let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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