Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
