Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
