Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
whose ass print is on the piano?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
