so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I need moral support for this bender
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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