she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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