I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i just google imaged poop.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
