I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
