We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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