can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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