If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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