She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
