Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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