is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
