I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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