I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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