This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
