this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
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Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
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Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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