Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
