Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
