why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
