omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
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He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
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He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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