yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The struggles of a small town man whore
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
