No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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