I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
