so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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