if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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